Wednesday, June 9, 2010

One Piece of #$%#

Quick and Painless.

Watching Uwe Boll films. Reading the Great Gatsby. Listening to country music. (Think Brad Paisley, and Kenny Chesney, not cool outlaw country music from the seventies.) Sleeping with the most obese female in your area over and over for a year. I think I’d rather endure all of those things than to give the One Piece anime anymore of my time.

Harsh huh? I was mildly exaggerating with the aforementioned torture ideas, but One Piece was mostly unwatchable for me. It was a bold move on my part. Everybody who likes any amount of anime has at least heard of One Piece, so it would be redundant to rehash the premise. With over 400 episodes, I was going to be in for a wild ride. I want my time back. Unfortunately, like any other anime I’ve enjoyed, I needed to become invested into the characters. Getting less than twenty episodes in a series of that magnitude may not be enough to understand if the show is worth a damn or not, but at least in the first few episodes, I should like…something.

I had my fill of Monkey D. Luffy quickly. I knew that if I made it to the “end”, Luffy would have made that shit eating grin in every episode no matter what. I knew that all of his battles would have been the same. He would have gotten his ass kicked, gave a monologue that not even Frank Langella’s Skeletor could save, and then proceed to beat the hell out of the one-dimensional villain we could care less about. It is presumptuous I know, but I bet I'm not too far off. The rest of the characters seemed uninspired, and the only seemingly interesting character (Zoro) still wasn't interesting enough to keep me going. The record would have kept spinning over and over.

I don’t even care about aesthetics. I didn’t need someone as suave or cool as Spike Spiegel or Kamina. I didn’t need someone emotionally unavailable, depressed or sociopathic. I thought that Luffy looked so ridiculous, and by how funny he looked, he had the potential to be more than what I saw. When it comes to long running anime series, you are on one of three ships (pun intended); Bleach, Naruto, or One Piece. I can't do it. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s the fact that I can’t endure a series that long. This isn’t about fillers, poor animation, or shoddy storytelling. This is just a series that with so many fans, I honestly thought I would like it, heck, if anything tolerate it. By the end of the last episode I watched, I begged God for a mulligan. Give me my time back!!

However, and there is a however, I want to give the manga a chance. I want to like a series like this. The premise is marginally interesting, and I’ve read other for lesser reasons. Plus, it has received the same amount of praise, and I can cruise through manga quicker than absorbing countless episodes on my television. The writing is probably undoubtedly better, the battles fiercer and more interesting, and I can avoid fillers at all cost. All in all I think I just choose the wrong medium.

Wish me luck, and keep it savory.