A guy in Utah was fired from his job last week for among other things calling a fan of the Avatar, and "Avatard." Apparently he's worked as a Customer Service Rep for many years, as with many lonely CS phone reps he makes small talk with his callers while on the line. It's seems though that he's a bit of a hater.
“I liked Dances with Wolves too,” says Hansen when discussing the plot of Avatar. “In fact, that was a great movie and probably one of two movies that Costner didn’t fall on his face with. Avatar is exactly like it. Just like that new piece of [expletive] G.I. Joe movie was just like Team America: World Police. Am I the only one seeing this?”
It seems though when talking to his customers over the last week he couldn't help but bring up his most hated obsession.
When taking a routine call the Monday following Avatar’s global release in theaters, customers, who were trying to make simple small talk with the long-time customer service rep, raved about the new film. “People were calling up and saying that the movie was the best thing they have ever seen in their entire lives. One person actually said, ‘I wish I lived on Pandora. They are so nice there. The movie was so real.’ Really? The blue people seemed nice? You want to live on that planet with the weird rhinoceroses? I told them I’d book a ticket with Nucking Futs Airlines.”The customer on the other end of the phone, Andrea Thompson, 38, didn’t see the humor of Hansen’s comment and asked to speak with his supervisor. “I needed help with a stencil,” says Thompson. “I couldn’t get it to work. Seriously, how do you get them to work? Does the pencil go on your ear or under the paper?” When asked about Hansen’s comments about the movie, she choked up. “Avatar was incredible. It is in 3D and looked good. I’m not talking “good,” I mean awesome. It was awesome. That man was off his bean. He said that the story was too simple and that if movies were used as a vessel for storytelling, then Avatar was a ‘turd in an Armani’ or something. He also called me an ‘Avatard.’
Thompson wasn’t the customer that felt the heat of Hansen’s sting. Two other Stencil Tech customers called the call center looking for assistance with recently purchased stencils and brought up the film, like 20-year-old Chris Ullyes. “I called that 800 number and he picked up. First I asked if he could tell me what color my yellow stencil was. He laughed and said he would need to look up yellow stencils in his database to find out the color. So, I asked him if he saw Avatar yet. I told him I thought it was the greatest movie I had ever seen. Way better than Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Legends of the Fall and The Godfather. Then he yelled at me.”Hansen remembers that call like it was yesterday. “That guy was such a douche. He actually said Avatar was like watching Jesus being born. Who says dumb [expletive] like that? I asked why he liked it so much and he said ‘because it looked awesome.” That was it. Anaconda looked ‘awesome.’ Inspector Gadget looked ‘cool.’ I told him I’d pay him $5 if he could tell me what the story was about. He told me it was about a blue guy who wanted to fly on a dinosaur. I told him his yellow stencil was blue like his nuts after seeing Avatar.”
I'll admit that I loved Avatar. I don't think though that it Rivals Star Wars or the Birth of Jesus. It seems though that we have another item to add to the list of thing to ever talk about in Mixed Company: Politics, Religion, Star Wars vs LOTR, and Avatar...