The only thing that would have made this thing would have been using Offcial S.T.A.R. Labs coverpages and letterhead...
Since Time immemorial, man has sought to explain the powers of Kal-
El, a.k.a. Superman. Siegel et al. Supposed that His mighty strength
stems from His origin on another planet whose density and as a result,
gravity, was much higher than our own. Natural selection on the planet
of krypton would therefore endow Kal El with more ecient muscles and
higher bone density; explaining, to rst order, Superman's extraordinary powers. Though concise, this theory has proved inaccurate. It is now clearthat Superman is actually ying rather than just jumping really high; andHis freeze-breath, x-ray vision, and heat vision also have no account in Seigel's theory. In this paper we propose a new unied theory for the source of Su-perman's powers; that is to say, all of Superman's extraordinary powers are manifestation of one supernatural ability, rather than a host. It is our opinion that all of Superman's recognized powers can be unied if Hispower is the ability to manipulate, from atomic to kilometer length scales, the inertia of His own and any matter with which He is in contact.